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Finding Hope after Heartbreak: How Grief Shaped My Faith & Christian Creative Journey
Sometimes, when I look at where I am today as an illustrator, I’m amazed at how God works. As much as I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to create modern faith-based art, my creative journey didn’t start from a happy place. It actually came out of a really long, trying season of sadness after a broken relationship back in high school.
For years, I carried a heavy weight in my heart that I just didn’t know what to do with. I didn’t know how to process it. Even though I had some friends, I still felt all alone, with no one to turn to and no one who really understood. To make things worse, I was also dealing with the heavy stress of major exams. I felt stuck between needing to study and trying to manage all the hurt and depressive thoughts.
Wrestling with Faith, Mental Health, and Hard Times
At first, I tried to just ignore it. I thought if I pushed the sad thoughts away and focused entirely on my schoolwork, the pain would go away. But I realized that burying my feelings never works. Every single time I took a break from studying, my mind would drift right back to the loss. The sadness just wouldn’t leave.
Thankfully, from time to time, I felt prompted to talk to God. That said, my prayers during that time were messy. Though I knew what God’s Word says, I don’t think I truly believed it then. I really didn’t know what to ask Him for.
- Some days, I begged God to fix the relationship and bring us back together.
- Other days, I prayed that He would just make me move on fast so I could stop hurting.
When nothing changed, it felt like God was silent. It felt like my prayers weren’t even reaching Him. For a long time after that, I felt empty inside. I felt like I wasn’t myself anymore, because I was still stuck living in the past.
Editorial comic illustration I created on my healing journey – work-in-progress sketchbook pages:
From Brokenness to Modern Faith-Based Art
Looking back, I can see that God was actually doing something behind the scenes in my heart during that season. Sometimes, how we respond when faced with loss shows us where we are putting our worth. I think God used that painful time to reveal to me that I was looking to people for my happiness and validation, instead of looking to Him. He was inviting me to find my true identity in Jesus.
Even when I was trying everything to run away from the pain, God stayed close. He didn’t rush my healing, and He didn’t leave my side.
This faith quote “If God is all you have, you have all you need” reminds me of the start of my creative path. My venture into art began when I started sketchnoting sermons. It was just a simple way to keep my mind focused and connect with God’s Word through simple (and sometimes cute) drawings. What started as a way to cope and heal soon turned into a deep love for illustration and visual storytelling. That winding, unexpected road led me to become the illustrator and surface designer I am today.
Using Christian Creativity to Share Comfort and Healing
Today, my creative practice advances mental health and well-being through simple, relatable, faith-based illustration. To me, Christian creativity is about more than just making pretty things. It’s about seeing the good in my own struggles, and in turn, inspiring others to bring all their cares to God through my visual expressions. I enjoy creating modern, comforting illustrations that speak to the weary soul, reminding them of God’s steadfast love during seasons of anxiety, depression, or heartbreak.
Because this art comes from a very real, personal place, creating has become my life’s work. Whether I am drawing illustrations for books, creating art for devotionals, or designing modern faith-based collections for everyday products, my heart stays the same.
Losing that relationship felt like losing everything at the time. But it taught me that when everything else is gone, and God is all you have left, you realize He is truly all you ever need.
– Nicole
